Here's an update on how Candace and Chris are coping leading up to the most exciting change of their lives......
For seven years we have been the token childless couple. Traveled, had many date nights, slept in, and came and went as we pleased. For every second of that seven year period we have prayed for a child to come and change our life status from childless to parents.
Our house looks a little different these days. Our bar was sold at the highest bidder and we happily parted ways with our late night hub of endless liquid debauchery. We now have a huge basket filled to the brim with foreign objects that have never entered our home before. Even our cars look different, there is one less space available for someone to sit because it is otherwise occupied. Mostly, we have a mountain of bags packed by the door and 24 days left until the actual due date. You see, we never thought we would get this far. Maybe it was the 6 failed IVFs prior that hinted to that fact, or maybe it was the hysterectomy that left me wombless due to the imminent threat of cancer. Either way, some strong gale force was against us to see to it that we would not be parents.
When our last IVF failed we pursued adoption with reckless abandon. We would spend every weekend either preparing for a fundraiser or fundraising directly. We couldn't do it during the weekdays because we were busy taking classes and filling out paperwork. That is when something happened. Someone offered to carry our child for us. I had two remaining embryos and nowhere to put them. I couldn't morally destroy them, so we just held on them not knowing what their future would hold. Our path changed and we started to pursue surrogacy. I did not feel like we abandoned adoption because in our hearts adoption will happen just the order of how would be altered.
Surrogacy for us, was our all chips in the middle of the table gamble and we won, at least we are still in the game. Our gestational carrier is now 36 weeks and we are just waiting for our lives to change. We are scared, nervous and over joyed to think just maybe we will finally bring home our child. Funny how we spent every waking moment researching and learning about how to get pregnant and I can tell you I do not know a thing about this whole parent life.
I do know that the will of a couple who goes through infertility is unbreakable. The love for that baby has been seeded long before the pregnancy test showed double lines. The patience has already been tried because they have been waiting for wait seems to be an eternity, persistently never giving up. So although we may not know much about things like the bad poop versus the good poop or how to soothe a teething baby, perhaps it is the fact that I am and we are an infertile couple and the struggle has made us learn how to adapt, to be a survivor. So for that mountain of bags by the door, one for us, one for our baby, one for our surrogate and one for our dog sitter. Even though I trip over them daily, they resemble our struggle and our journey and the next chapter in our life.