Blog Posts

The Busy Gets In The Way

3/22/2016

It seems the busy always seems to get in the way. Whether its from your own craziness or so much going on sometimes a break helps you come back stronger. Hope all of you are well!

I haven't blogged in a while and the busy times have hit me hard, all good but I've been away from my blogging. I'm excited that I will be featuring some stories in the coming weeks. March is Endometriosis awareness month,April is Infertility Awareness Week plus May is Resolve's Advocacy Day. What better way to be involved and connected to the community by blogging again? We can't always be in every place at once and even though I will not attend Advocacy Day I will be here in support virtually.

Stay tuned for my new posts and guest posts. There is so much I have to share. It's just finding the time that is the tough part. I think of this as a start to a re-launch.

If you would like to be featured on my blog, share your story of infertility, loss or pertaining to health and wellness be sure to connect with me Franga27@aol.com.

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Why I walk for Infertility? Resolve's Tri-State Walk of HOPE

9/5/2015

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Why I Walk? I walk for YOU, ME and EVERYONE struggling with infertility!
I walk because I'm grateful for my family! I walk for this little guy in this picture. I get to spend time together making memories even if its with a selfie taken by him. He is my everything! My journey didn't come with its ups and downs. I look to where I've been and to where I am today as a family!

Come take a walk in my shoes or in the shoes of those 7.3 million people in the United States diagnosed with infertility. I am walking to support everyone in this community. Whether you are at the start of your journey, still considering your options, or have completed your family this is a strong, brave community waiting to share their support with you so come out and join us to help others. Let's pound the pavement and make a difference!

As a former fertility patient, I was once there feeling alone, like less of a woman, and embarrassed. There are many challenges and times of disappointment that brought me to my darkest moments. Dealing with the emotions head on and having hope helped me find my way. Find your way and support,HOPE will be there for you to move forward through your unique journey!

Through many ups and downs, from infertility to pregnancy loss and having my miracle, it has been a long road and now its time to give back to others that are waiting to become a family! By sharing our stories it will help others break the silence of infertility while educating others about infertility. Our voice matters and it needs to be heard!

We're a week away from the 1st annual Resolve Tri-State Walk of HOPE in New Jersey which is conveniently located to NY and CT. I will be attending from Connecticut going back to where I frequently visited when growing up in New York we crossed the bridge to go to New Jersey. I am also excited to see some familar faces, new faces and of course to meet Jenna Marinelli, Chair of the Walk as I am honored to be walking on her team, Believe to Conceive.

We all have our own experiences and a journey that leads to so much more; from failures to the hope for success you meet friends along the way. There are tears, smiles and those hugs, virtual or in-person that hold you together. You find strength and support that is for life. It's a way to keep giving back from your experiences. The infertility community is a community that supports everyone! I've finished building my family and continue to show my support, raise awareness and get involved.

We look forward to seeing you at the Walk of Hope at Overpeck County Park, Ridgefield Park, NJ on September 12, 2015. Please comment below if you will be attending I would love to meet you.

Your donation means so much to Resolve and will make a difference in the community. Join us. I would love to walk with you. Register TODAY and consider making a donation to support me, my team and others faced with infertility. No matter what team you are on we all walk for the same cause. Click here to learn more about the walk and to make a kind donation. Let's make a difference together!! Read more on my journey www.secretinfertility.com

Feel free to share this post. Sharing is caring to help others.

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Let's Talk About SEX or NOT..... Is there Sex After Infertility?

7/15/2015

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This guest post is from Helen Adrienne, LSCW. She is working on gathering information anonymously to address the question Is there Sex after Infertility? The information that she gathers will be for a future post on her blog BabyManifesto.

If you're interested in submitting the requested information to be used in a future post, please be honest when sharing your information. As we know in the community honest stories and experiences help others feel less alone!
So LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX or NO SEX .......

Is there Sex After Infertility? I am seeking to collect information from volunteers who are willing to anonymously address this question. The only way to insure that your contribution be anonymous, is for you to snail mail your document to me

Helen Adrienne
420 East 64th Street, Suite E1D
New York, New York, 10065

Contributions should consider the following issues:
Please identify at what stage you are in:

Still trying

Decided to remain child-free

Have a child/children

Method of success (IUI, IVF, Egg Donor, Sperm Donor, Embryo Donor, Surrogacy, ICSI, PGD)

Are you satisfied with how sex is for you and your partner?
Were you satisfied with how sex was for you before the fertility quest?
Is sex better than before you started to try for a baby?
Do you agree that things are okay or not okay?
Would your partner be willing to include his/her assessment with yours?
If sex is less satisfying, do you have an actual or intuitive sense of why?
Have you sought help? Why or why not?
A paragraph that addresses any feelings not addressed in these questions.

Feel free to share this post with others that might be interested in participating or sharing their experiences.

The information above was provided by Helen Adrienne and does not necessarily represent the official views of the owner of this site. I support the fertility community and all means of family building. All guests posts are shared as resources for those in the community and does not substitute medical advice. Sharing guest posts, information and resources about organizations on my blog are to support the cause of infertility and to continue to raise awareness. All posts to my site are for informational purposes only.

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Introducing Advanced OPK: KNOWHEN Saliva Ovulation Monitor

7/10/2015

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Like many in the fertility community we all look for resources and products that can be helpful in the journey to conceive. Most couples that embark on this uncertain journey look for products that might be helpful prior to beginning fertility treatments for use in the privacy of their own home or to use while undergoing treatments.

I would like to share the following information on the Knowhen Saliva Ovulation Monitor. If you believe that this product might be helpful to you or someone you know, feel free to share along.

What is KNOWHEN? How does Saliva Ovulation Monitor work? KNOWHEN is a saliva fertility-monitoring device. It contains a small microscope that monitors a woman’s ovulation cycle through the salt in our saliva. A drop of saliva on the microscope will magnify a picture of the saliva which can then be used to use to determine where you are in your ovulation cycle. During ovulation, high estrogen levels raise the percentage of salt in a woman's body. In saliva, these salts take the shape of ferns under the 60x magnification of the KNOWHEN mini-ovulation microscope. There are three different situations to evaluate; a picture with small dots means the woman is not ovulating, a few fern-like branches means the woman is about to ovulate, and many fern-like branches means that the woman is ovulating.

Why do you need to know your ovulation cycle? Saliva ovulation monitor is an advanced solution for any woman that is trying to become pregnant, as well as, women who want to monitor their cycle and determine any potential problems. KNOWHEN can provide a woman with more control over their cycle and their body. Some women ovulate only once or twice a year and it can become difficult to have children, some women cannot have children at all. This product allows a woman to know exactly when to attempt to conceive without the hassle of doctor visits and bills.

What are KNOWHEN’s features? The device is 98% clinically proven accuracy, and it is FDA-approved. It has been featured in many magazines, websites, and television shows, including The Star-Ledger, Forbes Custom, and Fox News. Educated men and women about ovulation monitoring is crucial. KNOWHEN educates us with their first edition e-book called, “Welcome to Eva’s World”, which explains ideas of nature, love, and life. There are also many different YouTube videos and blog articles on the website to explain more about the process and how a woman’s body functions.

Where to buy? This ovulation kit is sold all around the world, including the US, Great Britain, Russia, India, Taiwan, and more. We are sold in CVS stores as well as online. You can check the availability here: http://www.cvs.com/search/N-0?searchTerm=knowhen# and visit our website: http://knowhen.com/ for more information.

Join the conversation - Follow on Twitter @Knowhen

The information above was provided by Knowhen and does not necessarily represent the official views of the owner of this site. I support the fertility community and all means of family building. All guests posts are shared as resources for those in the community and does not substitute medical advice. Sharing guest posts, information and resources about organizations on my blog are to support the cause of infertility and to continue to raise awareness. All posts to my site are for informational purposes only.

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FEATURED on Eva's World - Expert Chat Infertility Experiences

7/6/2015

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Recently I was featured on Eva's World in a two part expert chat to discuss my experiences with infertility, share resources and talk about my book, The Truth Behind The Secret "Infertility".
I am honored to be mentioned as an "expert". In my eyes I am someone who is sharing knowledge and information through my experiences with infertility.

Eva's World is a great resource for those trying to conceive. Their site hares stories from others who are still trying to conceive or those like myself who have built a family using fertility treatments.

Sharing my story of infertility and pregnancy loss today allows me heal, raise awareness for infertility and have others know they are NOT alone!!

Check out my two part interview on Eva's World:

Expert Chat: The Truth Behind The Secret Infertility I
Expert Chat: The Truth Behind The Secret Infertility II

Spread the LOVE with a share, mention or comment! I would love to hear what you think. A share helps one more person feel less lonely in this journey.

A recent photo spending time with my now 7 yr old. Feeling blessed!

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Dear Friend....... Anonymous Letter Submissions for National Infertility Awareness Week

4/19/2015

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I wanted to share a few of the anonymous letters I received from those struggling with infertility. Some suffer in silence and just wish they can tell their friends exactly how they feel. This campaign gives that opportunity to share while raising awareness during National Infertility Awareness Week. Thank you to those that submitted a letter. I can relate to some of the letters below and hope that sharing these will make others think before they talk. These submissions just show that #YouAreNotAlone!!!!

For more information on how to get involved in National Infertility Awareness Week visit Resolve's website. Please share these letters and comment if you can relate or wish you had told your friend how you were or are feeling.

Dear Friend,

I am so scared to face you and your beautiful kids during fun outings or holidays. It pains me to be struggling to conceive knowing that you are enjoying all the joys of motherhood. I am not jealous; I am envious of you and your beautiful family. Your kids are like the kids I don't have just yet.

I feel like I might burden you or make you feel sorry for me if I mention my inner, deep struggles. Please don't say to me, "Take my kids for one day and you won't want to have kids!" As I sit there with no words just a smile holding back the tears. Don't ask me again, when we will have kids so I can catch up with you. When we go out for date night with our husbands I wish you would curb the get a room, get drunk, make babies comment; it hurts! Some things I know you don't mean but if you only knew what we were going through you might understand.

I feel lost and alone with nowhere to turn. I know my best friend is always there for me but I want to know its the right time to tell you so you can hear me and not feeling bad for my situation. I feel a bit better by expressing myself through this letter. Thank you!

Signed,
Infertility Anonymous

Dear Friend,

You are my friend for life but to tell you that I am not able to have children is something I can't come to tell you. I feel like I am holding onto a secret with not telling you but I want to be sure I can someday give you good news. Not only can't I tell you about me having problems to have a baby I can;t bear to tell you about my two miscarriages. Just when I thought I was there and ready to tell you about us having to do IVF to conceive is when I think let me wait until I am twelve weeks. Since that has not come. We are considering adoption too but that scares me to tell you since my family is sharing too many opinions with that. I am hopeful that one day I will be able to tell you. Sometimes I feel like you know with our deep conversations and you are just waiting for me to say it. I can't! So if you know maybe you can help me open up because I can really need my friend that I know would understand. With life being busy and your schedule with your kids I wouldn't want to take that joy from you by burdening you with my sorrows.

The I have no idea how to tell my friend I am infertile

Dear Public NOT my Friends and to my friends that say the stupidest things,

Most of my friends know how I am having problems but they continue to say the stupidest things.

Stop posting your pregnancy announcements to my Facebook pages with your sonograms! I cannot see one more. I am happy for you but stop posting them. You never know what people are struggling with behind closed doors. Since my friends know my struggles I think maybe a private message before the big bang or a phone call would be nice. I know Facebook is there for things happy and sad as I write this anonymous vent I know it will be out there but nobody will know its me!

If one more person says to just adopt I am going to scream. Once you look into adoption you will become pregnant. Think before you talk. Go out, get drunk and stop thinking about becoming pregnant and boom it will happen.

If you have children cherish them don't complain, fuss and look for the worst in the experience of parenthood.

I would give anything to be a Mom. Yes, I might seem bitter but infertility can take you to that place and its hard to come out because all you are looking for is that light! I already feel helpless so understand as if you were struggling.

VENT OVER!
Be more considerate to the infertile couple in the group

The letters above were submitted anonymously and no information will be shared on their identity. I respect their privacy and appreciate that they were brave enough to share their feelings on this very important topic. If you want to get involved in the conversation you can submit a letter, comment below and share this post. All submissions will be copied for this post and all posts are anonymous unless authorized to release their identity. Thanks.

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"Synthetic" NOT! A Beauty of Perfection via IVF

3/17/2015

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"Children born via IVF are "synthetic" from "wombs for rent" and that "the only family is the traditional one. Life has a natural flow, there are things that should not be changed. One is the family." ~ Dolce & Gabanna

This comment and others have had many talking like Elton John and Ryan Murphy along with many from the infertility community that have had success via IVF.

"My son is a beauty of perfection. He is not synthetic by no means. He is authentic, beautiful, kind, caring, a gift of life; our miracle!" ~ Fran Meadows

*******************************

Dear Dolce & Gabanna,

Comments that you made are your opinion but obviously you have hit a string with many, including celebrities and everyday people like me. Your comments remind me of the awful, bitter things people use to say, not knowing the struggles that my husband and I were going through. You might not know how it feels or will you ever know how it feels to have love for a child.

I'm guessing that you started somewhere with the help and support of family and friends to get your designs out to the world, including those celebrities that strut the red carpet in your fashions. Should I say the Dolce & Gabanna dream is like your "baby" , a creation that you would do anything to be successful well known designers.

Your comments hurt many, including those celebrities that wear and support your fashions. You should have been more sensitive to those that wear and buy your designs. As for me I would never be able to afford your designs nor would I want to spend my money on them but my voice matters so here goes.......

As a proud Mom of a child via IVF, I am stunned at the way you could call a miracle of life "synthetic" or a "chemical offspring". You put down couples, gay or heterosexual for having a child via IVF and calling "a womb for rent" to describe surrogacy. For same sex couples surrogacy is their only option and for heterosexual couples they turn to surrogacy to build their families for many reasons you will never know or understand, so don't point the figure at them for doing something that you both would have to turn to in order to have a family. A child no matter how they are conceived are gifts of life, with no synthetic materials used, just pure LOVE! Don't judge my family as you wouldn't want anyone to judge you!

People who struggle with infertility don't dream and wish for this to be the way to have a family but for me this is the way it happened! My child born via IVF is NOT synthetic he is all that he can be with a mixture of my husband and I. He is all that we could have imagined and so much more. Think of the saying "If the shoe fits where it" Nobody would ever know what it feels like until you experience it. Infertility is painful!

There are so many opinions on this topic and everyone has their right to express it as I did along with many others. Nobody will ever win this battle. But I will not be silenced by these comments or ashamed to speak about my experiences and how I became a Mom!

Some say you're messing with God's will, some say and believe that only natural conception is accepted. What about those that conceive without planning or prior love for their body or the body of a child growing inside of them? I have heard so many stories about children being thrown out, being abandoned or even worse. The news and media report a story almost everyday finding an infant dead. What about those people? Those people became pregnant naturally and then have no love or concern for that life -Is that natural? Is it a natural thing to dispose of a child because you didn't want it? Then there's a loving couple who wants a child and cannot conceive people go on to tell them that fertility treatments are not the natural thing to do.

You have insulted many in this community with your comments but know that you will continue to hear from many of us.

So what is the answer? There is no answer just that your family is what you make of it! A Family is built on love, trust and memories! Synthetic or chemical offspring would not be the way I would describe it.
I leave you with this..... Today, what is traditional?

We are a family and nobody will make us feel as if we did anything wrong ~ My son has a mother and a father that loves him unconditionally, that is all that matters.

Not Fondly for your comments,
Fran Meadows
Author, Advocate and Proud IVF Mom

#BoycottDolceGabanna

My beautiful miracle!

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The Benefits of Strength Training on your Long-Term Health

11/6/2014

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Many people are not aware that Strength training is an essential part of a well-rounded exercise and weight loss program. Although you don’t often hear it and it is not widely recognized, recommendations for Strength training are for all ages and for both males and females. Unfortunately, many people ignore weight training when they decide to start an exercise regimen and women especially avoid it in fear that they will "bulk up"

While “bulking up” may have a negative connotation for many people, there is a science behind strength training that allows people to gain a lean and attractive body while still gaining muscle. New research over the past few years has discovered that long and steady aerobic exercise is one of the least effective forms of exercise and it's also one of the most time consuming. Research even shows that it could even be counterproductive as it is very catabolic on your body. Strength training, done in a scientific method, however has many benefits and will help you live a longer, healthier and happier life.

The Benefits of Strength Training on your Long-Term Health:

1. Weight Loss, Fat Burning and Proper Long Term Weight Maintenance

Strength training is the key to consistent and long term weight loss and maintenance because muscle burns more calories and higher calorie burn equals loss of fat! People who have more muscle, burn more calories daily, just by maintaining their regular routine. When you continue to strength train with a high percentage of muscle mass, you are compounding that burn and increasing your metabolic rate, up to 15%. Fat on the other hand uses very little energy and will not only, NOT burn calories, but will continue to accumulate and become more difficult to get rid of. Terrence Thomas of the C.H.E.K Institute says “Muscles are your engines for weight loss.” Strength training done at a relatively moderate level of intensity can stimulate your metabolism for up to 72 hours after the training, whereas cardio training will stress the adrenal glands and release the stress hormone cortisol, not only during the activity, but after. The Bottom line is that strength training allows you to get more by doing less and will help you maintain a consistent and healthy weight without stressing out the body.

2. Strengthening of Bone, Prevention of Osteoporosis, Arthritis and Injury

The CDC states that “Post-menopausal women can lose 1-2% of their bone mass annually,” but a study at Tufts University demonstrated “strength training increases bone density and reduces the risk for fractures among women aged 50-70.” In fact, a recent article in Forbes magazine states that “Research has clearly shown that strength training can help to reduce the pace of bone loss, while some studies have demonstrated that such training can actually help to build bone... Movements and exercises that place stress on bones help to form additional calcium deposits and stimulate bone forming cells." Building healthy and strong bones greatly helps to prevent injury as you age. By simply adding a regimen of strength training 2 days a week, one can prevent bone loss, arthritis, prevent the need for osteoporosis medication and lower risks for falls and bone fractures.

3. Improvements in Sleep

There are millions of dollars spent each year on prescription pills to help people sleep better at night. Meanwhile studies show that people who regularly participate in strength training exercises are much less likely to have difficulty falling asleep at night and will have an easier time staying asleep. The CDC states that people that strength train “fall asleep more quickly, sleep more deeply, awaken less often, and sleep longer. As with depression, the sleep benefits obtained as a result of strength training are comparable to treatment with medication but without the side effects or the expense.”

4. Improved Glucose Control and Prevention of Diabetes and other Diseases

Regulating your blood sugar is of extreme importance to one’s health. Having a blood sugar level either too high or too low can lead to a lot of health problems. The CDC states that . “More than 14 million Americans have type II diabetes—a staggering 300% increase over the past 40 years—and the numbers are steadily climbing…Fortunately, studies now show that lifestyle changes such as strength training have a profound impact on helping older adults manage their diabetes.”

According to Skyler Tanner in his seminar Strength Training and Biomarkers of Aging, "Strength training drains glucose like you wouldn't believe. Two sets of 10... use about five grams of glucose, or to keep it simple, carbohydrates. So, a workout might use 35 to 60 grams of carbohydrates, depending on how long it is, with weights. It's not nearly as aggressively draining those muscle tissues with a cardiorespiratory-type training.” One recent study of both men and women during a 16 week strength training regimen were able to see nearly the same results as taking diabetes medication, not to mention that they lost weight, gained muscle and felt better and happier.

5. Maintenance of a Stronger and Healthier Heart

Despite the vocab, cardio (short for cardiovascular) training is not the best bang for your buck to see improvements in your heart. In fact, strength training is very much a cardiovascular strengthener. Over the long-term of a consistent and proper strength training program, your body will see the benefits of weight loss, bone strength and an overall increase in health. Your heart reaps the benefit of a lean and strong body and your risk for heart diseases are much lower. The CDC states “one study found that cardiac patients gained not only strength and flexibility but also aerobic capacity when they did strength training three times a week as part of their rehabilitation program. This and other studies have prompted the American Heart Association to recommend strength training as a way to reduce risk of heart disease and as a therapy for patients in cardiac rehabilitation programs.” In a 20 minute time-frame of a higher intensity strength training workout, you will be using both your aerobic (traditionally termed, cardio) and your anaerobic systems and the research shows that you need to stress both of these systems in order to get the most optimal cardiovascular benefit. Your body was designed to work best putting a higher load on your body in a short amount of time and exhausting both the aerobic and anaerobic systems.

6. A Happy Disposition and Prevention of Depression

The impact that a regular exercise routine can have on your day-to-day happiness may truly surprise you. Besides changing your physical appearance and your health, which is proven to contribute to a happier state of mind, strength training boosts your self confidence by challenging yourself to make it through tough trainings and lift heavy weights. The accomplishment alone of performing these tasks is enough to boost your disposition. Scientifically, however, the proof is more than that. When you work out, endorphins are released from the brain, resulting in happiness, similar to the feeling of a sincere and hearty laugh. The CDC states that “Strength training is proven to work better than anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications. It is a combination of the biochemical changes such as the release of neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine and changes to hormones and the fact that people feel better and more confident when they are stronger.” After a training session, most people report feeling more relaxed, happier and having higher levels of energy than when they started.

7. Staying YOUNG

It’s never too late to start a training program and no matter when you begin, the benefits can be experienced right away. The long-term benefits however, can be achieved with a consistent and proper program. Once implemented routinely, strength training can slow and even reverse the physiological aging clock. Studies show that above the age of 30, without a strength training program, you lose 1% of muscle and this number compounds as you age. Above the ages of 50 & 60, this number grows exponentially. Your strength and muscle naturally decline with age, but minimizing this decline with strength training contributes to a younger, happier and healthier you.

Seana Hart is the Owner of EarthFIT Personal Training Facilities in New Fairfield, CT. She is a Certified Holistic Lifestyle Coach, a Certified Personal Trainer and CT Teacher and Russian Kettlebell Coach.

Seana can be reached at earthfitnf@gmail.com Website www.newfairfieldpersonaltraining.com

The information above was provided by Earthfit New Fairfield and does not necessarily represent the official views of the owner of this site. I support the fertility community and overall health and wellness.. Sharing guest posts and information about resources on my blog are to support the cause of infertility and health and wellness. I continue to raise awareness while sharing tips and resources to my readers. All posts to my site are for informational purposes only.

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InviTRA The ONLY Spanish Fertility Fair

11/4/2014

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Fertility Challenges are becoming more and more common in the US and around the world. Why? Is is the environment, food we eat or just the way our bodies were made?

inviTRA is the only Spanish fertility fair, a landmark event in which visitors can find all the information about assisted reproduction, in a same place entirely at their disposal.

In the world, there are more and more people who choose to try fertility treatments to succeed in creating a family. Studies indicate, for example, that one out of six couples in Europe has difficulty with achieving a pregnancy in a natural way: fertility problems, together with changes in modern society’s family structure, make the inviTRA meeting (link: www.invitra.com) a not-to-miss international event.

inviTRA’s goal is to gather in a same place different specialists from the fertility sector, in order to enable the visitors to find reliable and objective information about the different possibilities available nowadays.

Infertility is global so if you know someone that might be able to attend this conference share the information with them or share this with others online so they know what is upcoming in the fertility conference world!

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“Raise your hand if you have crap sperm” - guest blog by WannabeDad, one man’s journey through male infertility:

9/25/2014

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The other night my wife asked me for the magazine from the Sunday newspaper. I reached over, picked it up and threw it towards her. I missed completely. She smiled - “Great impression of your sperm.”

This is how we try and face the problem. We laugh, we joke and we keep it as light hearted as possible. Throughout my blog, www.wannabedad.com, I have written about those moments where we have made an active choice to laugh, as the alternative could drag you to a very dark place.

I mean, hanging your wife upside down by her ankles - what’s not funny about that?

We take the view that we are lucky in so many ways. We have good jobs, a lovely house, amazing friends and a brilliant family. To win in all those areas was always going to mean that we would lose out somewhere down the line. You can’t have it all in life. There are many people around the world who have none of the above. We have to be thankful for that, don’t we?

So let me take off my rose tinted spectacles for a moment. Do I think in this way all of the time? Of course not. Somedays I wake up and I hate the world. I look around and see drugged-up lunatics popping out children like they are a human vending machine.

I see parents scream and swear at their kids in the supermarket. I see couples with no jobs, living in squalid conditions, showing off their latest child. The other 12 kids clearly not enough. It seems so unfair that a couple like us are being so badly let down by nature.

On a personal level, it is also difficult to be the source of the problem. My wife married what she thought was a fully working machine, not one that had faulty bits and couldn’t do the most basic of manly tasks - to go forth and multiply. If only she had kept the receipt.

Now, to be clear, she doesn’t look at it in this way at all. From the moment we heard the news, she has seen it as ‘our’ problem. A problem we are dealing with as a team. But lets face it, the media and society as a whole, has a very different way of tackling the issue. I think the general view is to buy a big carpet, a broom and, well….you get the idea.

How many articles do you read about male infertility? How often do you see it talked about? The answer is very little. There are men out there who are suffering in silence, scared to admit that there is something wrong and devastated by their diagnosis. Infertile men are faced with headlines about cocky celebs having ‘super-swimmers’. We are faced with our own mates boasting - “I only have to look at my missus and she is pregnant.”

The other day, a friend of my wifes told her they were cancelling plans for next year as they were having another baby. When she congratulated him, he replied - “Oh, she isn’t pregnant yet, but she plans to be.”Easy for some, eh?

For many, it is as simple as going to the shop or turning on a tap. That is where the main problem lies. It is human nature to hide the fact that you can’t do something that others can. I remember sitting quietly in the corner during mathematics at school. Everyone else seemed to know it all. I was too scared to put my hand up.

As a man, faced with infertility, I feel it is time to raise that hand. I can’t make my wife pregnant and we are relying on science to help us. It might not work. We might not be parents. My mum and dad may not have grandchildren. These are the stark realities of having crap sperm. They are also realities faced by many men across the world.

To compound the misery, we also tackle them whilst being surrounded by pregnant people everywhere. I was happy to hear that Will’s and Kate were having baby number two - but did we really need to run through every other celeb that were pregnant as well? And seriously, how many pregnancy adverts does there really need to be? It honestly feels like the whole world is having a baby except you.

Let’s not forget the constant questioning from friends and family either. I am sick to death of hearing - “when are you two going to have kids?”. One day I will break and give an honest answer - “Actually, we can’t because I am infertile. Two sugars please.” Can you imagine the tumbleweed?

A bit of advice for the non-infertile population - if a couple in their mid-thirties haven’t had kids yet, there is probably a good reason. Get a bit of self awareness and stop prodding that hornets nest.

I want www.wannabedad.com to show men like me that they are not alone in this world. By talking openly and honestly about what I am facing, I hope others can see that it is nothing to be ashamed of. Having ‘super-swimmers’ is a case of good biology. It doesn’t make you anymore of a man. Being a man is actually talking honestly about the problem, trying to keep a smile on your face and being there for your partner.

My sperm might be very low on numbers and swim in circles, but in trying to break through the taboo that is male infertility, as a man, I feel that I am at least heading in the right direction. I just hope others will follow me.

Find @Wannabedad on Twitter.

The information above was provided by WannabeDad and does not necessarily represent the official views of the owner of this site. I support the fertility community and overall health and wellness. Sharing guest posts and information about resources on my blog are to support the cause of infertility and to continue to raise awareness while sharing tips and resources to my readers. All posts to my site are for informational purposes only.

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The Busy Gets In The Way

Why I walk for Infertility? Resolve's Tri-State Walk of HOPE

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