I have a condition known as Non-Obstructive Azoospermia. It occurs in about 2% of all male infertility cases. With this condition, low levels of testosterone prevent the testicles from producing enough sperm. Another cause of this condition is a genetic defect. With me, it was just a matter of low testosterone. Azoospermia is diagnosed with a standard test known as a semen analysis.
I was in shock when I first found out I was infertile. I was depressed when I fully realized the truth about my condition. My masculinity was wounded. I began to feel as though my wife might not find me attractive. I cried and worried that I would never be a father. I felt so alone and afraid to come out and admit that I had a reproductive system that was defective. Eventually, I mustered the courage to reveal my condition.
Revealing my condition was a slow process at first. I am not one to talk about intensely personal things with just anybody, let alone discuss a condition that affects one of the most intimate and private parts of the human body. Aside from my wife, my parents were the first to know about my condition. I had no problem telling my immediate family. Next we told my wife’s sister and parents. The first people outside our immediate family to know about my situation were close friends. At first, I only told my friends that I had a serious medical condition. I could not bring myself to tell them I was infertile. After about a week or two, my emotional pain reached a breaking point. I felt helpless, overwhelmed, and devastated. I never felt so alone in my life. Over the years, I had been able to keep a lot of problems in my life to myself. Finally, I was faced with a problem that I could not keep to myself. The burden of infertility is just too great to bear alone. I revealed to my close friends that I was infertile. From that point on, I resolved that I would be bold and honest about my struggle. In my opinion, suffering in silence would be much worse!
Unlike most infertile men, I am not shy about being honest and sharing my feelings. I feel called to bring awareness to the issue of male infertility. My mission is to tell the world that men do have feelings when it comes to infertility. I want the world to know that some men have the same nurturing instinct as women when it comes to children. In sharing my feelings, I hope to get other men to come out of the shadows and not be ashamed of their condition. My advice to all infertile males is to “man up” and share your feelings.
Read more on Jason's Blog, One Man's Battle With Male Infertility
Follow him on Twitter @JMS91360
LIKE his Blog's Facebook page