"First comes Love then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage!"
This quote is how I begin my story in my book. Now I know that this is a vision of how a family is built and the simplicity of the quote can be so false! I love the vision I had as a young girl running around with my dolls singing this quote. As the time came for us to build our family much of this vision was lost.
My husband and I met at work many years back in our early twenties. I was looking to finally meet the right person. I had no wedding bells in my head just wanted to meet someone who finally got me. The dating games were getting old. The initial introduction to my husband wasn't love at first sight it was more like--"What a jerk?" Once my husband and I to got to know each other, I finally got his stupid humor, his annoying chatter and saw the shine in his eyes. I know sounds silly but when you judge someone that you have no idea who they are, what they've struggled with in life or how they are when you talk one on one; it's hard to break down that initial impression. Sounds like infertility yet many years sooner than I knew I would marry this man that I called a jerk. It was a love hate relationship ready to explore the world together with happiness and at the time not knowing the struggles we would endure.
Infertility can feel as if someone is judging you and nobody knows what you are going through on the outside or by talking to you unless you share your story. This is where I get to my point -- many years of struggling with infertility, trying to hide my emotions from family and friends while trying to express them to the person I love was so difficult.
When all you have is babymaking on the brain whether you are married one year or many years, remind yourself to take time for you as a couple. Remember the times when you use to laugh or do silly things. This will take away some of the distractions of life that might be weighing your relationship down. Strengthen the foundation of your marriage by acting as if you are newly dating and having fun. Babymaking can take some of that fun away without even thinking about it.
Do you have time to get away-- to relax, laugh and reconnect? Most times couples forget those important moments like taking time to watch a movie together or go out to dinner or even take time away from it all for a weekend trip. Married life can be stressful. Juggling work, daily routines, activities, caring for yourself and infertility in the mix can make life crazy! It might be tough to show your love to your spouse or understand them at times. Take a deep breathe and know that regardless where you are in your infertility journey it will have its ups and downs. Most couples will have success and others will not. No matter what the outcome remind yourself that you are a couple first and last!
This quote is how I begin my story in my book. Now I know that this is a vision of how a family is built and the simplicity of the quote can be so false! I love the vision I had as a young girl running around with my dolls singing this quote. As the time came for us to build our family much of this vision was lost.
My husband and I met at work many years back in our early twenties. I was looking to finally meet the right person. I had no wedding bells in my head just wanted to meet someone who finally got me. The dating games were getting old. The initial introduction to my husband wasn't love at first sight it was more like--"What a jerk?" Once my husband and I to got to know each other, I finally got his stupid humor, his annoying chatter and saw the shine in his eyes. I know sounds silly but when you judge someone that you have no idea who they are, what they've struggled with in life or how they are when you talk one on one; it's hard to break down that initial impression. Sounds like infertility yet many years sooner than I knew I would marry this man that I called a jerk. It was a love hate relationship ready to explore the world together with happiness and at the time not knowing the struggles we would endure.
Infertility can feel as if someone is judging you and nobody knows what you are going through on the outside or by talking to you unless you share your story. This is where I get to my point -- many years of struggling with infertility, trying to hide my emotions from family and friends while trying to express them to the person I love was so difficult.
When all you have is babymaking on the brain whether you are married one year or many years, remind yourself to take time for you as a couple. Remember the times when you use to laugh or do silly things. This will take away some of the distractions of life that might be weighing your relationship down. Strengthen the foundation of your marriage by acting as if you are newly dating and having fun. Babymaking can take some of that fun away without even thinking about it.
Do you have time to get away-- to relax, laugh and reconnect? Most times couples forget those important moments like taking time to watch a movie together or go out to dinner or even take time away from it all for a weekend trip. Married life can be stressful. Juggling work, daily routines, activities, caring for yourself and infertility in the mix can make life crazy! It might be tough to show your love to your spouse or understand them at times. Take a deep breathe and know that regardless where you are in your infertility journey it will have its ups and downs. Most couples will have success and others will not. No matter what the outcome remind yourself that you are a couple first and last!
Sometimes I need to STOP, step back and remember this for myself. It is easier said than done and hard to take your own advice. For us we struggled with infertility for over six years, a late pregnancy loss and now we are proud parents of a five year old and I cannot remember the last time I did any of these things recently. Moving forward today, its time to try. Even after infertility the challenges of life, marriage and work can get in the way. It's time for me to be a couple and a family leaving the stress behind.
I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions or steps that you've taken to be a couple no matter where you are in your family building journey! Stay strong and move forward holding onto HOPE!
I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions or steps that you've taken to be a couple no matter where you are in your family building journey! Stay strong and move forward holding onto HOPE!
This blog post goes out to Fertility Authority. Thank you for featuring my blog this week. I am honored!
Find more information on infertility and other blogs on Fertility Authority's blogroll. Read more.
Find more information on infertility and other blogs on Fertility Authority's blogroll. Read more.
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