
My last "real" vacation other than my honeymoon almost 15 years ago was when we took a "loss getaway". After many years of struggling with infertility, from shots to hormones, disappointment and craziness we finally became pregnant to incorporate- happiness in my journey. Just when my happiness and confidence was at an all time high; boom we were shut down with the words of "I'm so sorry, there's no heartbeat!" At that time numb and not knowing what to do or say, we took it day by day, that was all we could do. We knew then we had to getaway. So we planned a trip and it was bittersweet. A vacation to the pink sand and clean blue waters of Bermuda with the dreaded words in my head of "Just relax!" It was that awkward relax, silence of trying to figure things out.
After our trip the ups and downs of infertility were back again. Then the scariest words of happiness, "You're pregnant!" This came and went so fast and felt like the birth of my son took an eternity to get here. Finally, we are now a family! Now what, enjoy and relax as a family. I wish it were that simple. I am truly grateful for my beautiful family and I wish everyday that I can be that family who takes a week long vacation every year along with weekend getaways. It just seems like no matter how hard we try to catch up with our busy life of doing the things we need to do it seems time and money always passes us by.
So I say - "What's a vacation? - from infertility, loss and now a family" I treasure the moments of taking day trips to see my son laugh, even if it might be a day out at the mall or hanging outside playing or watching him be creative building a train track. My wish, is to be able to see my son's eyes light up in Disney World, hopefully we can make that a vacation reality within the next two years. I know I will probably need a vacation after a Disney trip but it would be worth it and a well deserved vacation we have been waiting for a very long time!
When I was going through infertility I prepared for the present and hoped for the future with a family. I never prepared for yearly family vacations when I was going through treatments it was all about just getting through the daily routine. Who has the mindset or financial means to start putting money away for family vacations when you're spending money just to become a family? A word of advice: Save for that family vacation now, even if in your mind you think that you're saving for extra medications or treatments. Nothing says the money you save can't be used for a vacation afterwards. It will be a great surprise and reward to be able to take a memorable vacation if not do what I do - make the best with what you have and love creating your own family "staycations"!

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