Leading up to the premier of the show I had so many questions for Candace and Chris that I never really had the chance to ask. I thought that the infertility community might be curious to hear more on their story since most of their story wasn't aired. This couple has been through so much. In a one hour show it is so hard to fit in all the ups and downs surrounding infertility. However, I think MTV did an outstanding job for taking on this personal topic and for portraying infertility as most of us know it "REAL"! They kept the show tasteful and serious while capturing the strength and witty humor of both these couples. I'm glad they took on the topic with full respect for the couples and the community. I think that MTV opened their doors for future episodes to air of other couples sharing their true stories with different outcomes.
Interview with Candace and Chris of Ourmisconception
What were your feelings when you were chosen to do the show?
At first when we were contacted Chris and I thought it was a hoax. We were thinking well, if this is a scam these guys are scamming the wrong demographic! People with infertility are broke and have already blown their nest egg on family building. Not only that, but it was MTV. I am from the olden days, the time when they actually played music. Would they be able to take our story and truly do it justice? What helped calm our intial nervousness was that True Life is an Emmy award winning documentary series and has touched on some very serious topics. We took a leap of faith and opened up the most intimate details of our lives.
Why did you choose to do the show?
First, it was for advocacy. We knew the road was hard, we had already walked it for about 5 1/2 years and at this point so we knew what to expect. We also knew how difficult it was to explain how we felt and the experiences we had to people not dealing with infertility. We hoped the show would help bridge that gap and expose the difficulty that all of us IF'ers face. We knew it would be a great way to raise awareness around infertility.
What was the most difficult situation to handle when being filmed?
Oh hands down the "OTF" interviews. OTF stands for On-The-Fly. Basically after any major event or situation, you are pulled aside and asked a few questions. The question is not necessarily the problem. It is the camera that is .1 centimeter from your face and you have to make sure that the jibberish that does come out is some what audible and makes a little sense. Anyone put in this situation will create words that are not available in the Websters Dictionary and to expect that your vocabulary will reduce down to three words per sentence.
What was the most difficult news you heard when being taped?
The pregnancy test scene. It was real, there was nothing staged about it. They were there with cameras on the ready when every second of that happened. I told my fertility clinic after the fact that I think it is important for all fertility clinics to see this, as raw and as heart piercing as it may appear. Because only then, will they have a glimpse on what happens on the other side of the phone once they disconnect.
Behind the Scenes!
How did you feel watching yourself on TV?
It was awkward at first. We just were not sure how the crowd around us would respond. After the first couple of minutes though, we were glad that we were watching it with so many family and friends. I think you also become really critical of yourself when watching something like that. Many times I found myself wanting to smack myself on the forehead and think “Why did you say that!”
Can you share more on your journey that the audience might not know?
The reason for this being our last round is that I have precancerous cells that have been forming in my uterus over the past year. It started out as simple hyperplasia and has since then despite many surgeries and treatments has progressed. Last year my oncologist had given me a “band-aid type solution” to give IVF one last attempt. After a recent check up, my Dr. is very certain it will manifest into uterine cancer. Maybe a year from now, maybe a little longer either way it is time to part ways with my angry uterus. I will be undergoing a hysterectomy in the late Fall.
Do you feel that more could have been touched on?
Of course! I would say about 75% of what they filmed was not captured. I mean really, how can you get it all in two 20 minute segments? All aspects of what you can expect in a cycle were captured as well as those highs and lows that come with the territory of living through infertility. Everywhere from baby showers and invites to having a sperm and fried egg shaped cookie party. There was also a whole segment on our adoption journey that had to be cut out. We were fundraising, going through countless stacks of paperwork and of course the ominous home studies.
What message do you hope that the audience got from watching the show?
We hope they saw the difficulty, the anticipation, and the dedication that is involved with any fertility treatment. For those going through IF, we hope they saw that what they are experiencing and feeling is not unusual and they are not alone. For those not going through IF, we hope they see what we are experiencing behind closed doors and can understand why we can at times, be such a reclusive bunch.
Moving forward with surrogacy, you have many emotions and thoughts ~ Can you share some of those emotions and thoughts with us?
We are “cautiously optimistic”. We are guarded and we know that nothing is ever certain or guaranteed until that child is placed in your arms. Even then, at that finish line you are challenged with a new set of worries and concerns. We will remain positive but we are also not unrealistic. There are outliers. Not to mention for the past six years I have been in somewhat control. With surrogacy you place your faith, your hopes and dreams in another person. It is the unknown that can be the scariest factor, and that is something we are willing to risk.
If you missed the show, watch it here!
Read more on Candace and Chris as their Family Building journey continues. Visit their blog at www.Ourmisconception.blogspot.com
Photo's by Erin Colleen Photography